恋愛だけじゃ満足できない!「あれも、これも」の女性心理

復縁メール

こんにちは。永峰あやです。

 

彼女に別れを告げられた、でもその「理由」がよくわからない。

 

わけの分からない理由でふられた。でも復縁したい。

 

今回は、彼女の「真意」
彼女の「本当の気持ち」
を理解して復縁成功したい方へ

 

男性の盲点!
恋愛だけじゃ満足できない!
「あれも、これも」の女性心理についてお伝えします。

 

 

 復縁できない男性は
元カノの女性心理をわかっていない

 

彼女がなぜあなたと別れたいと思ったのか?

 

この「彼女の真意」
「別れの原因」をしっかり
おさえなければ復縁はできません。

 

「彼女の真意」や
「あなたと別れたいと思った本当の理由」について、

 

間違った解釈やわからない状態ですすめてしまい、

 

復縁というゴールとは真逆な
方向にすすんでいる男性が非常に多いです。

 

どうして多くの男性たちが、
「彼女が別れを告げた本当の理由」についてわからないのか?

 

それは、「女性心理」を理解していないからです。

 

今回、紹介するヒデトシさんも「女性心理」がわからず、

 

彼女の別れの言葉を
「適当な理由をつけやがって!」と大勘違いしていました。

 

彼女に
「かっこいい女になりたいから」
と突然別れを告げられました。ヒデトシさん(28歳)

ヒデトシさん(28歳)とりえさん(23歳)は1年つきあっていました。

 

が、1ヵ月前に彼女から
「かっこいい女になりたいから」
「忙しいし、一緒にいるのが重い」と別れを告げられてしまいます。

 

りえさんに一目ぼれしたヒデトシさんは、猛アタック。

 

つきあいはじめてからは、
一人暮らししているりえさんの家に泊まりに行き、半同棲状態。

 

尽くす系のおとなしくて
優しい彼女は、
いつもご飯を作ってくれたり、洗濯もしてくれていました。

 

そんな彼女との恋愛にも満足。
友達と遊んだり、趣味に没頭し
楽しくすごしていたヒデトシさんでしたが、

 

ある日突然彼女から
「距離を置きたい」と言われてしまいます。

 

理由を聞くと
「洗濯してよ・・・、ご飯作ってよ・・・、このままだと先が見えない・・・」

 

といつも優しい彼女が、はじめて怒りをあらわにしていました。

 

彼女の怒りに動揺した
ヒデトシさんは、その後家事などを手伝いますが、

 

結局別れを告げられてしまいます。

 

ヒデトシさん曰く。

 

「彼女に甘えていたし、
連絡もあまりしないで
さみしい思いをさせてオレが悪いと思います。

 

でも、家事も手伝ったし、
まめに連絡もするよう改善したのに
どうして別れないといけなかったんでしょうか。

 

かっこいい女になりたいから、なんて適当な理由としか思えません!!!!!!」

 

 

彼女に別れを告げられた男性の大半は、

 

「自分と彼女の関係」
のみに注目して、「別れの原因」を探ろうとします。

 

しかし、それだけでは不十分です。

 

女性が別れを切り出すときには、
「今後の女性としての生き方を見直したい」

 

という「女性心理」が働いている場合が非常に多いからです。

 

ヒデトシさんケースでいえば、
家事も手伝うようにしたし、
連絡もまめにとるように改善したのに!だけではダメということです。

 

すなわち「自分と彼女との関係」
を見直すことに加えて、
「彼女がどのような生き方を望んでいたのか」

 

ということも検討する必要があるのです。

 

 

恋愛だけではダメ。
仕事だけではダメ。
結婚だけではダメ。
「あれも、これも」の女性心理

 

「彼女がどのような生き方を望んでいたのか」を考えろ!

 

というと、すごく難しそうですが、簡単です。

 

彼女が、

 

・自分の仕事
・恋愛(結婚)
・出産、家庭を持つこと

 

について、どのような
ライフプランを持っていたか
を考えると、あなたとの別れの理由が見えてきます。

 

※男性であるあなたは、
恋愛中でも、結婚しても、子供が生まれても

 

仕事中心の生活スタイル
を継続するだけで、
これといって大きな変化はないと思います。

 

ですが、女性は、
結婚したら仕事はどうする?
出産したから
仕事をやめないといけない・・・
育児から手を離れてたけど、これから私の生きがいは何?

 

と、ものすごく人生の変化があるのです。

 

このことを念頭に、読み進めてくださいね。

 

 

近年の女性の大半が、

 

結婚する前は「仕事も恋愛も思いのまま!」

 

結婚した後は
「ママなのにおしゃれ女子!」「家庭もありながら仕事するオトナの女」

 

といったように、恋愛だけではダメ、結婚だけでは満足できない。

 

あれも、これもこなすステキ女子を目指しています。

 

ヒデトシさんとしては、自分との恋愛は順調。

 

いずれは彼女と結婚して、
このまま家事をやってもらって、、、と思っていたかもしれません。

 

が、彼女としては、
「入社3年目でいろいろ任されるようなった。もっとキャリアを積みたい」

 

「もっとおしゃれして、オトナ女子になりたい」

 

と、現状には満足せず、
恋愛も仕事も思いのまま!かっこいい女子を望んでいた。

 

※実際に彼女はヒデトシさんに

 

「仕事関係でいろいろな人と出会って価値観が変った」

 

「先輩女性のようにかっこよくなりたい」とよく言っていたとのこと・・・

 

なのに、、、
連絡もあまりしてくれない、
自分勝手な彼のために、
自分だけ我慢して家事をするのは耐えられない!

 

このまま彼とつきあっていても、私自身が成長できない。

 

もっと自由に、恋愛も仕事も楽しみたい!
→→→「かっこいい女になりたいし、重いから別れたい!!!!」となったわけです。

 

 

恋愛も仕事も思いのまま!
「あれも、これも」の女性心理をつかむ2つの方法

 

相談終了後、ヒデトシさんから以下のような感想をいただきました。

 

本日は相談に乗って頂きありがとうございます。

 

「かっこいい女になりたい」
の理由が今まで分からず
適当な別れたい理由だと思ってました。

 

永峰さんのおかげで理解できて、とてもスッキリしました。

 

ありがとうございます^_^

 

と同時にそりゃ振られるわ!と思いました!笑

 

復縁のモチベーションが
続くのか?という不安はありますが、

 

先ずは自己分析と自分磨き
を後悔しないように死ぬ気で頑張ろうと思います‼︎

 

またご相談お願いいたします!
ありがとうございました。

 

よかったですね!

 

ヒデトシさんは「女性心理」を
めちゃ知らなさすぎ!

 

ましたが、まっすぐで正直な、
そしてがんばり屋な方だったので、

 

これから復縁に向けて
どんどんやっていけるだろうな!という手ごたえを感じました。

 

あなたも、ヒデトシさんと一緒に
女性心理をつかむために、
以下の2つのことを実践してみてくださいね。

 

1 彼女と同じ年齢層をターゲットとした「女性雑誌」を読む

女性雑誌には、
女性が望む恋愛、女性のあこがれるライフスタイル

 

女性の美意識、トレンドがたくさんつまっています。

 

女性が望んでいることが
雑誌に書かれているのか、
雑誌側が女性の生き方を煽っているのか、

 

はわかりませんが、
とにかく「女性心理」がいっぱいつまっています。

 

こんな男性がいい!
こんな男は絶対嫌!といったことも赤裸々に書かれています。

 

男性であるあなたと彼女が
いかに違うか、彼女はこんなことにトキメクのか、

 

などが手に取るように
理解できるので、恥ずかしがらずに、一冊購入して読んでみてください。

 

例えば、、、

 

『ar(アール)』
ビューティー情報誌から、
2012年に「ご機嫌でヘルシーなエロい女子」というコンセプトでリニューアルした。

 

 

『Popteen』
いわゆる“コギャル”を主体に
作られていたギャル誌のひとつは、

 

2013年「GALの時代が変わる!!
清楚な女のコ宣言!!」という言葉を掲げ方向転換した。

 

『FRaU』
“アラフォー女性が都内にマンションを購入”。

 

さびしい女性が、独り身を固める
悟りの境地などととらえがちだったこの選択に、

 

『FRaU』が打ち出した
革命的なメッセージ「マンションを買えば、愛だけで男が選べる」。

 

『婦人公論』
50代から60代をメインの読者に据えた女性誌。

 

更年期から、介護、母娘問題まで
女性が人生で直面するディープ
な難問について、赤裸々に語り合われている

 

『Domani』
読者年齢を明確に“35歳”と定めている。

 

独女でも妻でも母でも、
“働くイイ女”でありたいDomani読者――通称ドマ女たち。

 

『VERY』
公園デビュー” “シロガネーゼ”
などの流行語を生み出した人気女性誌。

 

子育てを頑張りながらも、
イケダン(イケてるダンナ)をときめかせ、街に出れば、誰もが振り向くいい女!

 

『NIKITA』
おっぱいを開放することこそ、女性の解放である?

 

“美魔女”の存在が
発見されるずっと前から、女が熟することを謳歌していた。

 

※かなりいろいろあるでしょ?
女ってスゲーよなー笑

 

 

2 アメリカのドラマ
セックス・アンド・ザ・シティを見る

 

恋愛も、仕事も、人間関係も思いのまま!

 

「自分らしく、ありのままに
生きる大人の女性」スタイルが
存分に描かれているアメリカのドラマです。

 

20代~40代まで、
女性はみんなこのドラマに登場する
4人の女性のうちのどれかに自分を投影し、あこがれています。

 

DVDシリーズになって
TSUTAYAやゲオでレンタルされています。

 

今すぐ借りて、観て、女性心理をつかんでください。

 

絶対、実践しろよ!
ちゃおちゃお☆

 

永峰あや

復縁メール
  nagamine-blog-soudan-footer   恋愛心理

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