【恋愛成功法則】彼女に絶対断られない「告白の仕方」

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★★今回の記事に関連する【特別動画音声】です★★

ブログ記事には書かれていない、よりコアな内容がもりもりです。

ブログを読んだ後、音声を聞けば、絶対に告白を断られないこと間違いなし!

 

「彼女に食事のたびに
“好きだ”と告白してるのに、“まだわからない”と断られていて・・・」

 

「何度も元カノに
“好きだからヨリを戻そう”って言ってるのに、

“温度差がありすぎる”と復縁してくれない・・・」

 

「元カノを他の男にとられるのが不安で、

ふられたけど2回目の告白をしても反応がいまいちです・・・」

 

んちゃ!あたし、永峰あやです。

 

今日はこのような、
元カノとの復縁や、恋愛成就において

 

「好きだと告白しまくればつきあえる!」と思い込んでいる男性

 

のために、

 

「絶対に断られない告白の仕方」についてお伝えします。

 

まずは、好感触でイケる!
と思ったのに、
2回目の告白も断られてしまった

 

翔太さん(27歳男性)の恋愛相談を紹介します。

 

【恋愛相談】 好感触でイケる!と思ったのに、2回も告白を断られました 翔太さん(27歳男性)

僕は入社3年目になります。

 

同じ職場の同期の女の子のことが半年前から好きで、

 

5日前に2回目の告白をしてふられてしまいました。

 

これまで彼女とは
別の部署で、接点はありませんでした。

 

僕は入社当初から、
職場のバトミントン部に入っていて、

 

今年の4月に彼女が
入部してきて仲良くなりました。

 

僕は、彼女が入部した
当初から「かわいいな」と気になっていました。

 

週に1回の活動の後、
みんなで飲みに行ったときに、

 

僕の話が「おもしろい!」
と笑ってくれて、そこから急速に距離が縮まりました。

 

LINEを交換して、部活の前後は

 

「明日楽しみだね」
「酔ってたけど気をつけてね」といったやりとりをするようになりました。

 

3ヶ月前に、僕から
「2人で食事に行こう」と誘ったら、

 

「いいよ!」と言ってくれて、
仕事の後、飲みに行きました。

 

それから2回、2人きりで飲みにいき、

 

彼女のほうから
仕事の相談をしてきて頼ってくれました。

 

話もはずんで好感触だったので、

 

4回目に誘って飲みに行った帰りに

 

「好きだからつきあってほしい」と言ったら、

 

驚いた顔で「突然言われてもわからない・・・」と言われ・・・。

 

僕も焦ってしまい
「すぐに返事をしなくていいから」
とその場はそれで終わりました。が、

 

次の日の晩、彼女からLINEで

 

「いろいろ考えたけど、ごめんなさい。

部活も、2人の飲みも楽しかったよ。

だから、いままで通りでお願いします」と断られました。

 

その後も、部活や
みんなとの飲みで顔を合わせると、

 

彼女は普通に接してくるので、
僕も何事もなかったようにやり過ごしていました。

 

でも、やっぱり
あきらめられなくて、5日前にLINEで

 

「やっぱり好きだから、もう一度2人で会いたい」

 

と伝えたら、

 

「大切な同期だけど、
それ以上には思えないから2人きりでは会えない」

 

とふられてしまいました。

 

好感触でいけると思ったのに、
ショックで、何がいけなかったのか
自分ひとりで考えてもわからなくて相談しました。

 

どうしたら彼女とつきあえますか?

 

翔太さんが告白を断られたの3つの問題点

今回、電話相談して
くださった翔太さんは、
適度に明るく、真面目な人柄。

 

仕事もしっかりこなして、
仲間の輪を広げるために部活動もせっせとする好青年。

 

にもかかわらず、
なぜ好感触と自信を持っていた彼女にふられてしまったのでしょうか。

 

翔太さんが告白を断わられたのには3つの問題点があります。

 

1 彼女の恋愛感情が盛り上がっていない状態で告白をした

2 男と女の「思考、感情、行動の傾向」の違いを知らず、自分目線で行動した

3 彼女に仕事の相談をされたときに、アドバイスや解決策を提示した

 

それでは、この3つの問題をひとつひとつ解決していきましょう。

 

女性の「心」は「まんこ」と同じ。じっくり、焦らされることで「受け入れモード」に

男性である翔太さんや
あなたは、女性と出会った後、
急速に、一気に恋愛感情が高まります。

 

そして、「早く自分のものにしたい!」とアプローチをします。

 

一方女性は、ゆるやかに、
じょじょに恋愛感情が高まります。

 

ですから、男性のペースで
恋愛感情を盛り上げてようとしても、女性はついていけない・・・

 

そういった落差現象が起こってしまうわけです。

 

翔太さんの恋愛感情の高まりがピーク!!!だったときに、

 

 

彼女の恋愛感情は1センチ程度
しか盛り上がっていなかった・・・といえます。

 

神秘思想において、
心や感情は「水」の原素
として扱われます(直感は火、思考は風、行動は土)。

 

と、、、したときに。。。

 

あなたの「愛の告白」を
受け入れてもらうためにも、
その先の桃源郷にすすむためにも、

 

相手女性の「心」と「まんこ」
の両方を、愛液でしっとり濡らしてあげなければならいないのです。

 

女性とセックスをする際に、
会話も前戯もなしに、いきなりぶっこむバカはいません。

 

セックスにおける、
おっぱいを愛撫ひとつとっても、

 

①乳房全体を大きく円を描くようにやさしく撫でる

②乳りん全体を小さく円を描くように撫でる

③乳首を指で挟み、やさしくこりこり動かす

④ふわっと、やさしく乳頭に触れる

 

というように、じっくり、
焦らしながら4つの手順を踏むことによって、

 

「ああん!」のひと声が漏れるのです。

 

白」という行為は
目に見えないのでわかりづらいですが、

 

一方的に「好き」と押し続けるのは、
おっぱいをガシガシわし摑む、

 

女性にとって
「痛い!やめて!」の行為と同じなのです。

 

絶対にやめましょう。

 

恋愛における男と女の「思考、感情、行動の傾向」の違い

恋愛とは、男と女が
「関わり合い」「コミュニケーション」を積み重ねることによって成立するものです。

 

コミュニケーションには、
その人それぞれの「思考、感情、行動の傾向」が表出されます。

 

その「思考、感情、行動の傾向」の形成には、

幼少期から現在に至るまでの「親からの教育」が大きく影響します。

 

男の子と、女の子では、
育てられ方や、親や社会から期待されることが全く違います。

 

男の子には「他人と競争して勝つこと」が期待されます。

 

そのため、
「社会的地位の高い」職業に
あこがれを持つように育てられることが多いです。

 

それに対して、女の子は
周囲の人と仲良く「協調」することが期待されます。

 

「他者のお世話」をする仕事が、
女の子である自分には向いていると思わされて育てられます。

 

※「2014年・小学校新一年生
男子の将来就きたい職業第一位は「スポーツ選手」で、

 

女子の第一位は「パン・ケーキ屋・お菓子屋」です。

 

それに引き続き、
男子では、パイロットや医師
のような「社会的地位の高い」職業が根強い人気を誇り、

 

女子は保育士や看護師
といった「他者のお世話」
をする仕事が上位にランクインしています。

 

このように
「他人と競争して勝つこと」を期待されて育った男性は、

 

恋愛においても、一気に目的を達成しようとします。

 

つまり、一方的に、
たたみかけるように
自分の「好き」という思いを伝えて、女性の気持ちを勝ち取ろうとするのです。

 

しかしながら、
「他者と協調すること」を期待されて育った女性は、

 

恋愛においても、
じっくり関わり合いながら、
関係を深めていくことを望みます。

 

ですから、男性から告白をされると、

 

「まだお互い何もわかっていないのに何なの・・・」

「私の気持ちに配慮してくれなくて押し付けがましい・・・」

となってしまうのです。

 

繰り返しになりますが、

 

・「相手をいち早くモノにしたい」という男性

と、

・「じっくり共感しあって、
関わり合いながら深めていきたい」という女性

の違いをしっかり理解してくださいね。

 

好きな女性を落とすためには、「結果」よりも「プロセス」を重視する

男性である翔太さんは、
「競争して勝つ」こと、
「目的を達成する」ことに価値を置いているので、

 

彼女から相談をもちかけられた際、

ここぞとばかりに
解決策を提示して
「好感触」と自信を持っていたそうです。

 

しかし、女性である彼女の、
協調したい、関わり合いたい!に配慮するならば、

 

丁寧に、じっくり話しを
聴いてあげて、共感する
という「プロセス」にこそ目を向けるべきですよね。

 

彼女との「恋愛成就」
におけるアプローチの仕方にしても、

 

彼女からの「悩み相談」
に対する回答の仕方にしても、

 

「結果を勝ち取る」ことにフォーカスして、

 

「協調、共感のプロセス」
の女心をないがしろにしたことが、翔太さんの最大の敗因といえます。

 

復縁成功、恋愛成就のための「絶対に断られない告白の方法」

それでは最後に、お待ちかね!

 

「絶対に断られない告白の仕方」についてお伝えします。

 

ここまでの解説で
あなたには理解していただけたと思いますが、、、

 

結論から言うと、
元カノと復縁する、
好きな女性とつきあうためには、

 

「告白」は全く重要ではないということです。

 

「好き」という「情熱的な告白」ではなく、

・LINEや電話のやりとり

・デートで一緒に楽しむ

・食事の会話で丁寧に共感してくれた等、

 

男性の「日常の思いやりのある言葉がけや行為の積み重ね」

 

によって、女性の心は「受け入れモード」になるのです。

 

つまり、あなたの恋愛感情を、
彼女が「受け入れる下準備」を丁寧に、
手間をかけて行えば、、、

 

絶対に断られることはない!ということです。

 

バーベキューに例えるなら、
適切に火を点けるためには、

 

「強力なチャッカマン」よりも「丁寧に下準備されたコンロ」のほうが重要だ

 

ということです。

 

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

(訳:幸運は、準備と機会がめぐりあったときに起こる)

byセネカ(古代ローマの哲学者)

 

さあ、下準備にとりかかるわよん☆

 

永峰あや

 

 

復縁メール
  nagamine-blog-soudan-footer   恋愛心理

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