【復縁】成功率98%!彼女と仲直りしてよりを戻す禁断の会話メソッド

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今回のブログ記事と関連する音声動画です。音声だけでしか配信していない、特別な情報について知りたい!という方は、ぜひクリックして聴いてくださいね!

 

ちわ!永峰あやです。

 

「元カノに、浮気されてむかついたから別れた。でも、やっぱり好きだから復縁したい」

「彼女と喧嘩ばかりで、距離を置きたいと言われてしまいました。どうしたら仲直りできますか?」

「婚活してます。いつも1回目のデートまではいくけれど、会話してると相手と言い合いになり振られてしまいます。どうしたらいいですか?」

「妻と喧嘩ばかりで、セックスレスです。どうしたら仲良くできますか?」

 

いつも相手と喧嘩やトラブルが絶えず、別れそう…、振られてしまったあなたへ。

 

・【復縁】成功率98%!彼女と仲直りしてよりを戻す禁断の会話メソッド

 

についてお伝えします。

 

もし、あなたがこれを知らなければ…

「僕は正しい、君は間違ってる」という正しさ追求を続け、話し合いにならず、振られてしまいます。

 

でも、もし、あなたがこれを知ることができたら…

浮気、不倫といった大きなトラブルがあっても、相手としっかり納得できる話し合いができ、仲良く、ずっと一緒にいることができます。

 

これは、私のCCCカウンセリングをコミュニケーションに応用した、禁断メソッド!これさえ知れば、好きな人と、必ず仲直り、復縁、ずっと一緒にいることができるので、最後までしっかり読んでくださいね!

 

元カノに浮気された…自分から振ったケド復縁したい!

それでは、今回のテーマと関連する、ジュンさんとの恋愛カウンセリングを紹介します。

 

付き合って2年目の彼女が元カレと浮気していたことを知ったジュンさん(29歳)は、嫉妬と怒りがおさまらず、「やり直したい」と彼女に何度も謝罪されても、「裏切り者、汚い女」と言い放ち、別れました。

 

しかし、4ヶ月ぐらい経ち、冷静になると、「本当に別れたことが正解だったのかな」という疑問が湧いてきて、仕事も手につかなくなり、私の恋愛カウンセリングを受けます。

 

私とのカウンセリングの中で、当時の嫉妬や怒り、現在の不安やさみしさをしっかり感じ切り、浮気してしまったけどやり直したいと望んでいた彼女の気持ちに共感し、これまでの2人の関係性を心に描いて振り返りました。

 

そして、ジュンさんは、「実は、彼女のことがものすごく好きだったから嫉妬した。好きじゃなければ、あれほど激しい怒りは感じなかったと思う。

 

人を傷つけたり、やってはいけないことをした彼女は間違っている、自分の考えは正しい!と思っていったけど、それでは割り切れない彼女への気持ちがある。彼女は僕にとって本当に大切な人だし、ずっと一緒にいたい!」

 

という自分の気持ちに気づきます。

 

ジュンさんは、どのようにしたら、自分から振った元カノと復縁できるでしょうか?

 

「正しさ」を追求することで、恋愛関係を壊してしまう

まず、仲直り、修復、復縁する上で大切なのは、

 

・なぜ、「好き」という気持ちがあるにもかかわらず、彼女とのケンカ、トラブルをうまく乗り越えられなかったか

 

について知ることです。

 

それは、相手との間に、トラブルが発生した場合に、「正しさ」を追求したから、恋愛関係が壊れてしまったのです。

 

私の恋愛カウンセリングでよくあるのが、「彼女・妻が浮気した。嫉妬と怒りで混乱していてどうしていいかわからない」という相談です。

 

もし、あなたに彼女がいたとして、彼女が別の男性とセックスをした、浮気をしたらどうしますか?

 

多くの男性は、

 

・妻の浮気は民法上の不貞行為にあたる。彼女の誤った行動は許せない!と法律を基準に判断する

 

・彼氏がいるのに浮気するのは、世間の常識として良くないことに決まっている。だから彼女が悪い!と世間体を基準に判断する

 

・彼女は浮気して僕を傷つけた。心理的な苦痛を与えた僕は被害者で、彼女が悪い!と、自分の痛みや恐れから判断する

 

という反応をします。

 

しかし、法律、世間体を基準に「間違っている」と判断したり、自分の痛みや恐れの感情から「悪い」と裁いても、納得のいく結果は得られない。

 

むしろ苦痛が増し、悩み続けてしまうということがほとんどです。

 

あなたも、勢いよく怒鳴りつけて別れたものの、後悔、罪悪感がつのり、「やっぱり復縁したい!何で別れてしまったんだろう…」と、どんどん苦しくなってしまったのではないでしょうか。

 

本当につらい状況ですよね。ぐすん(涙)。でも大丈夫!私がついているので、一緒に乗り切っていきましょう!

 

トラブル、喧嘩をうまく乗り越え仲直り方法:「ノン・ジャッジ」コミュニケーション

・彼女と意見が違うと、すぐにケンカになってしまう。このままだと、別れるしかないかも…

 

・「自分の意見ばかり押しつけてくるから疲れた、別れたい…」と言われた状態から、どうすれば修復できるのか…

 

・彼女の浮気が許せない、でも好き。どうすれば、前みたいな関係になれる?

 

それでは、最後に、あなたが相手の女性とのトラブルやケンカを乗り越えて、仲直りする方法をお伝えします。

 

以下の2つを実践してください。

 

実践1:どちらが「正しい?間違っている?」という、正しさ追求をやめる。「ノン・ジャッジ」コミュニケーションをする

相手とのトラブルやケンカで、あなたの頭が「彼女は正しい?それとも間違っている?」と相手を裁き(ジャッジ)はじめたり、「僕が悪いの?こんな僕は間違っているのか?」とあなた自身を裁きはじめたら、

 

いったん、正しさを追求することをやめてみましょう(※裁くこと、ジャッジすることをやめる=「ノン・ジャッジコミュニケーション」)。

 

ある人にとって正しいことが、必ずじも別の人にとってそうであるとは限りません。

 

また、それは、その人の置かれている状況や環境、各自の成長段階によっても変わってきます。

 

実践2:自分の心の中に沸き起こってくる感情を、観察して受け止める

正しさ追求をやめることができたら、次に、あなたは、自分の心の中に湧き起こってくる、嫉妬、怒り、疑い、を拒絶したり、排除しようとしたりせずに、ただ、それらを観察して受け止めてください。

 

あなたの内側に起こっていることにただ「気づく」ことが大切です。

 

これが、私のCCCカウンセリングで大切だ!と言っている「自分を知る」ということです。

 

そして、相手のことも、ただ観察して、受け止めてください。

 

彼女の表情や姿勢、言葉のメッセージをあるがままに受け止めて、彼女に起こっていることに気づけるよう意識を向けてください。

 

これがCCCカウンセリングの「相手を知る」ということです。

 

ポイントは、「反省」ではなく「内省」せよ!

自分を知るという行為に、「反省」と「内省」という言葉があります。

 

「反省」とは、ある基準に従って正解を出したり、評価や価値判断をすることです。

 

他者や外圧など、外界からの視線に合わせて、あなた自身についてジャッジする行為です。

 

さきほど紹介した、民法や世間体を基準に「相手の浮気は間違っている」と判断した男性たちの行為と同じです。

 

もう一方の「内省」は、ただ、あなたの内側に起こっていることを観ること、良い悪いの判断をせずに、起きていることに気づいていくことです。

 

「内省」は、外側の基準に合わせて正しい、違っているを決めるのではなく、ただ、起こっていることを受容して、承認することなのです。

 

ただ、自分と相手に「気づく」こと、アウェアネスを大切にしてください。

 

自分を知る、相手を知ることができたら、世間や法律など、外側の正しさに惑わされることなく、あなたと彼女の関係性の中にある真実を見極めることができます。

 

先述したジュンさんは、その後、私とのカウンセリングの中で気づいたことを、ありのまま元カノに伝え、もう一度付き合ってほしいと告白しました。

 

元カノは、「私の気持ちを理解してくれてうれしいし、今まで一緒にいてくれたことに感謝してる。でも、私の中で、浮気してしまった罪悪感と、ジュンに怒鳴られたショックが整理できない」と、ヨリを戻すことは保留中です。

 

しかし、付き合っていた頃と同じように、遊んだり、食事に行ったりはしているそうです。

 

いやあ、嫉妬で怒り狂い、打つ手がなく悩み込むしかなかったジュンさんが、ここまで変化するって、マジでスゲーよなー。

 

このような成長を目にすると、私、永峰、うれしすぎて、缶チュウハイの栓をぷしゅっと抜きたくなっちまうんですよ。

 

いやはや、本当にすんばらしい!

 

あなたも、しっかり実践して、元カノと仲直りして、復縁成功!彼女と仲直りして、恋愛関係修復!してくださいね。

 

以上、

 

・【復縁】成功率98%!彼女と仲直りしてよりを戻す禁断の会話メソッド

 

についてお伝えしました。

 

今日はこのへんで!ばいびろ~ん!

永峰あや

 

復縁メール
  nagamine-blog-soudan-footer   恋愛心理

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    6年間に及ぶ精神科病院での診療経験を基に、ゲリラな人間心理の専門家として活動中。電話相談師としての累計相談回数は11152件以上と圧倒的で、常に順番待ち。メールボックスには毎日喜びの声が寄せられている。相談内容は恋愛、仕事の悩み、人間関係、鬱など様々。相手を包み込むような愛情と、ガツンと響くストレートなアドバイスはとても人気があり、日本全国に数多くのファンを抱える。連日相談申し込みが殺到しており、今から申し込んでも相談は1ヶ月後より先になってしまうほど人気。現在は「恋愛相談師」として、特に復縁に悩む男性に向けて、自身の経験や、電話相談師として見てきた数多くの女性のリアルな意見を取り入れた復縁術を公開中。